


fleeting

by shindouchrono



Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2018-12-07 12:17:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11623359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shindouchrono/pseuds/shindouchrono
Summary: Akira and Yusuke are both in love with each other, and tip toe delicately around the other - both too afraid to say anything, yet stuck in the limbo of everything that they are, and everything that they can be.





	1. conflict

Sharing space with Yusuke was nothing new. They had, though for a brief period of time, shared the space in the attic. They frequently sat close to each other during the Phantom Thief meetings, the time they took the train to the planetarium, they spent it pressed against each other. There was no reason for Akira to be so nervous over sharing a bed. He was supposed to be the leader of the Phantom Thieves, courageous, not afraid of anyone or anything that could cross his path – but for whatever reason, keeping eye contact with Yusuke was the hardest thing he had ever done.

Staying up late to help Yusuke with his painting was fun, watching Yusuke create artwork was a work of art itself. The hours simply passed away-– when he blinked, it was well past 4AM, and Yusuke wiped the sweat off of his brow. “Ah… I seem to have lost track of time. There are no trains running at this hour… I hope I am not overstaying my welcome, but it seems necessary that I stay here overnight, and return to the dorms in the morning.”

Akira tries to ignore the butterflies that dance around in his stomach.

Being worried about this felt so silly. He was friends with Yusuke, so being nervous was just… pathetic, somehow. Akira glanced over at Yusuke’s calm expression. The cool night air left a draft in the room. The blanket hardly covered the pair’s legs. Yusuke’s left arm was wrapped around Akira, and Akira was using Yusuke’s chest as a pillow. It was the least he could do, since Yusuke, for whatever reason, had declined sleeping on the couch, and didn’t let Akira sleep there either. Speaking honestly, he didn’t mind the closeness. He loved it.

That was the problem. He felt so comfortable, and so at home, so… safe. Akira could feel his heart beating away, without a care for his anxiety that Yusuke could hear it. If it was commented on, he prayed that his heartbeat would just stop then and there so he wouldn’t have to explain it. The silence made Akira feel slightly awkward, but any conversation would keep him up longer than he would have already. Yusuke’s eyes were closed, and his breathing was steady, yet Akira had a suspicion that he hadn’t fallen asleep quite yet. He listened to the distant winds from outside. At some point, Akira wasn’t sure that the heartbeat was his, or Yusuke’s. The worry that he wouldn’t fall asleep slowly dissipated. His consciousness fades into blissful nothingness.

It was well past noon when they both made their way downstairs. Akira had the passing thought that if he didn’t drink a gallon of coffee, he might flop over and disintegrate. Yusuke looked like he felt the same, though he seemed oddly refreshed. Akira could only assume it was the satisfaction from finally finishing the piece he had been working on for so long. They ate breakfast – (lunch? It was 2PM.) – and Yusuke left shortly after, thanking Akira and Sojiro for their hospitality, as always.

“You’ve made friends with someone incredibly polite. You should learn from him.” Akira recognizes the tone as a kind sort of teasing. He nods his head, smiling slightly. He collects his dishes and heads over to the sink. “You good to help me out today?” There’s a very long pause. He can feel the caffeine in his system now. He’ll probably be half dead tomorrow, but for now? He’s good to work.

 

* * *

 

The next day, Akira 100% regrets working instead of sleeping. The lesson flies right over his head. He rests his chin in his hand, devoid of the energy to try and force himself awake. He dozes off occasionally, Morgana’s claws digging into his leg the only thing keeping his eyes open. “I keep telling you, you need to sleep more! This is seriously what you deserve for not listening to me.” Ann turns around, just a little.

They meet eyes, and she raises her eyebrows. Akira shakes his head, offering an apologetic smile. His phone buzzes. It’s Ann.

_Are you alright? U look dead tired._

He looks to the front. The teacher is writing on the board, talking away - and not paying attention to the class behind him. He types out a response.

_I’m ok. Super tired. Helped Yusuke out painting, we stayed up too late._

She sends an emoji. Akira furrows his brows.

_What is that supposed to mean?_

Another one. _Helped him out, huh? What kind of things was he “painting” (wiggles eyebrows)._

His face suddenly feels hot. He tugs at his collar.

_What exactly are you implying… I seriously just gave him critique and… stuff. That was it. Seriously._

_Yeah, okay. Whaaaatever you saaay._

The conversation ends there. Akira doesn’t exactly feel more awake, but he is a bit more alert to the sounds of his phone. He sets it on his lap, hopefully out of the view of other students. He tries to force his attention at the teacher, to hopefully soak up some of the lesson. It’s almost working, until his phone buzzes again. It’s Yusuke. His heart rate quickens.

_I apologize for sending you a message so suddenly. I figured it only right that I tell you – my piece was very well received. It is undoubtedly thanks to your efforts. My apologies for making you stay up so late._

Akira taps his fingers idly on the desk. His classmate glances over at him, for a brief second. He twirls his pencil, instead. He types out a response.

_I’m glad! Don’t worry about it. It’s no trouble._

As best as he can, he pushes away the anxiety that bubbles up. The end of the day comes quickly.

Ann taps him on his shoulder, and Akira jolts up. “Crap. I fell asleep, huh? How much of the lesson did I miss? Did I miss anything good?”

She laughs. “You didn’t really miss anything. Ryuji messaged the group chat a bit ago, though. We still good to, uh, … You know… But maybe we should forget about it for today. You still seem really tired.”

He lifts his school bag, Morgana’s head just barely visible. They both head out to the front, where Ryuji is most likely waiting for them. “I think I should be okay. I got most of my well needed rest just now… I feel pretty okay, considering.” Ryuji waves to them, and joins them on their way.

“We still going to Mementos today, leader? Ann told me you were asleep all day… Man, I wish I could fall asleep that easily!” Morgana pops out of the bag with a high-pitched meow.

“I still stand by him needing to sleep more often.” Akira scratches Morgana behind the ears. He bristles, but eventually accepts the affection. His ears tilt back. “I’m seriously okay. Besides, if I expend all the energy I just got, then after Mementos, I won’t even complain. I’ll just go right to bed.”

Morgana has an expression of suspicion-– or, well, an expression that is presumably suspicion. It’s sometimes hard to tell. “I’m gonna hold you to that!”

Their banter continues the rest of the way to their hideout. Akira occasionally felt the judgmental stares on his back. He thought he heard the ghost of a whisper of judgmental words – but then Ryuji said something, and his attention changed to that. For a moment, it’s like nothing else existed. The judgmental society didn’t exist, for just a moment. The critical looks all around him disappeared.

Yusuke was waiting for them when they arrived. He _did_ look rather tired… Akira wondered if they both looked that tired. If so, no wonder everyone was telling him to get some rest. “We are still heading into Mementos today, yes?”

“Yup. We only have a small job today-– we discussed it on the way here. I don’t want us to overwork ourselves, especially considering –…” Morgana pops out of the bag and sits on the ground, glaring upwards at Akira. It was amazing how he managed to make Akira feel like he was being scolded and looked down upon. A talent, truly.

“Considering you and Yusuke went to bed far too late. Seriously! What kind of thieves are you!?”

They took the target down easily. Akira was honestly worried how their lack of sleep would affect their performance. It went as smooth as it regularly did, save for a couple of slip up on his and Fox's parts, but that was to be expected. When they went up against the target, their tactics had to change, and Fox was brought back up to the front line. Even though it went well, everyone looked relieved once they had left Mementos. It seems like there was an unspoken worry on everyone’s mind.

Once the group had said their goodbyes and parted to their respective homes, the exhaustion that Akira had been fighting off had finally hit. God, he was so tired. He greeted Sojiro, closed the shop up, and then flopped face first onto his bed with a loud groan. Morgana gave him a look, but curled up on the bed next to him. His phone buzzed, loudly, and Akira groaned again. “You really ought to consider turning that off at night… Oh, but you might miss important messages that way…”

He squints at the sudden light of his phone, shutting one eye. It burns. Two new messages, both from Yusuke.

 _Evening, leader. I am glad that our heist went smoothly._ Akira turns the brightness down as low as it can go. _I hope you rest well. That is my plan, as well. Goodnight._

He hesitates a moment before sending, trying to proofread as well as his overly tired brain can.

_You too. Sweet dreams, Yusuke._

Before he puts his phone down, he scrolls up through their chat log. Akira smiles, feeling a rush of affection for the artist – and he's about to drift off to sleep, distantly hearing Yusuke's voice in his texts, when he identifies exactly what it is that he feels for the other boy. He locks his phone, and exhales deeply.

“Shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Akira has it so bad for Yusuke. Let's just hope it's requited!  
> This is my first multi-chaptered fic in a while... Feels good, though! The second chapter is complete, and once it's proofread I'll post that one as well! Hopefully there will be time between my move to finish this fic :'D  
> I love these boys. As always, my twitter is @chronojetdragon, if you'd like to come scream to me about fics or p5 feel free! (Keep in mind I'm NG+!)  
> Thank you very much for reading! I hope you have a nice day!


	2. climax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira had finally realized it. There was love, and then there was Yusuke-- and the difference between "love" and "being in love".

When he wakes up in the morning, somehow Akira’s body feels heavy. Like there are weights in his shoulders, pulling him down. It’s uncomfortable. He fixates on the feeling his way to school. Akira feels the sensation in each limb-– swirling around like when one would mix coffee and creamer. Thankfully, class is a distraction. He can focus on taking notes, listening to the teacher, twirling his pencil.

Akira spends the whole day like this, jumping from activity to activity, pushing his feelings down and tucking them away in a box as well as he can. He locks the box and tucks the key away in his pocket. More than anything else, he doesn’t want to think about it. But then he hears the buzz of his phone, and his heart leaps and jumps. Yusuke and Akira had made a habit of messaging each other throughout the day, some of their messages Akira making sure Yusuke was taking care of himself, Yusuke making sure Akira slept and-– well, Akira wasn’t sure why Yusuke even responded sometimes. He honestly didn’t know why Yusuke even…

The smile that was spreading across his face fades. He bites down on his lip until he feels the sting of pain.

“Hey, dude. You okay?” Ryuji’s words break him out of his thoughts. Ann, Ryuji, and Akira were all upstairs in Akira’s room, not doing anything in particular. A rented DVD plays faintly in the background. Ann has a concerned look. Ryuji’s eyebrows are furrowed.

“Ah, yeah. I’m good. Just thinking. It’s no big deal.” He waves his hand in front his face, corners of his mouth turning up.

(Though, he’s been told that expression really never works. Ann says it just makes him look like Morgana.)

“It’s okay to be not fine…” Ann leans forward on the couch, resting her chin in her hands. From the corner of his eye, he can see Ryuji nod. Ryuji’s leaned up against the bed, reading manga. Akira’s sitting on the floor, back pressed against the couch. Ann’s fingers brush through Akira’s hair, and he sighs softly, leaning into the touch. He pulls his knees up to his chest. The room is quiet. Ann pats the couch cushion next to her, and Akira flops down next to her. Albeit reluctantly.

She pulls his head into his shoulder. Damn. She knows him well enough, now, that he’s easily coaxed into speaking more if you’re affectionate. Ann has a very comforting presence, and though Akira has never been one to share how he felt, but she almost made him warm up to the possibility of speaking his feelings aloud. She scratches his scalp, rubbing indecipherable shapes. He melts into the touch.

“It’s… You know, it’s kind of weird. With you, and with Ryuji, it’s fine. You can get close and it’s fine. I’m not nervous. But with – with…” He swallows, loudly. Ryuji moves to sit on the couch as well. They’re all pressed together. It doesn’t feel crowded. He feels safe – but he doesn’t know how to force the words out. They’re lodged in his throat. Akira’s worried he might choke on them.

“With Yusuke…?”

He curls up into himself, covering his face with both of his hands. Ryuji pats his shoulder. “It’s silly. It’s just-– I’m so worried that he’ll hear my heartbeat. It’s so loud! I don’t know how he couldn’t hear it! Or if he’ll see my face, if I’m blushing, if I’m-– but with you, it’s fine. I’m calm. I… I love being close to people. It helps for when I can’t use words. I… I love being close to him. I just… I don’t know.” Somewhere, amidst the mess of emotion, Akira can feel the weight being lifted off him, but he still feels tense and tight, like a spring about to jolt up.

“Aw, sweetheart… Akira, I don’t think you need to worry about him hearing your heartbeat. That’s just anxiety talking.” Akira shakes his head at Ann’s words, and then buries his face in his knees.

Ryuji traces his fingers across Akira’s back. He sighs. “Do you wanna know what I think?”

“…It depends. Are you going to tell me to confess? I don’t want to do that. That’s not happening. Not in a million years.”

Ryuji snorts. “Dude… I’m no good with feelings, but I think you should. It’s effin’ pathetic to see you like this.”

“Ryuji! Can you have some tact, for once?” Ann snaps. Ryuji raises his hands in defense, with a casual smile. “You should at least talk to him about it. Yusuke isn’t the type to, ah, read the mood, - so you really don’t need to worry about him seeing you look at him all lovey-dovey.”

Akira feels like he just casted agidyne on himself; and his face had to be as red as Panther’s suit. This may or may not be one of the most embarrassing conversations he’s had in his whole life. It probably would take the spot as the number one most embarrassing conversation. Ever.

“Now who’s the one without tact… Geez, Ann, be gentle! The dude looks like he’s about to burst into flames.”

Akira finally lifts his head. “I don’t know exactly what you want me to do here? Aren’t you the only ones who want a development? We’re fine like this.” He pointedly looks away from Ann and Ryuji, who sigh collectively.

It’s Ann that breaks the silence that follows. “What are you so afraid of?”

There’s a long pause. Akira knows that if he tries to lie, they’ll both know. They were both willing and _ready_  to stay with Akira till the early hours of the night until he answered, and he was fully aware of that fact. He pieces the words together, slowly. His brain is going speeds comparable to the train passing by at the station, and everything else is racing to catch up. Everything feels so out of his control.

“I’m afraid to be in love with him. I’m afraid of having him close, close enough to hear my heartbeat. It’s stupid for me of all people, to be afraid. I want to look in his eyes. I want to hold his hands. But it feels like that no matter how close we get, it’s not close enough. I’m afraid of us becoming something more than what we already are, and I’m stuck in the limbo of feeling too selfish and too cowardly to even ask for more.” Akira shifts, resting his head on Ryuji’s shoulder. He bites his lip, feeling a lump form in his throat. “I’m so scared.”

“Then close the distance. You’re getting nowhere like this. All you’re doing is running around in circles.”

“I know! I know I’m getting nowhere. I know that nothing is going to change, like this. But I couldn’t handle trying, and then being rejected. Where we are now is better than him not liking me.”

“Is this really what you want, man? To always feel like you want more?” Ryuji has his arm draped around Akira’s shoulders. Ann is holding on tightly to his hand. “You’re a thief. Hell, you’re the leader of the Phantom Thieves. It’s a thief’s instinct to want more. It’s in your soul. Stealing hearts is part of our job description.”

“You always have us! If he hurts you, he’s skinny enough. I could break him in half, y’know.” Ann flashes a peace sign with the hand that isn’t occupied with Akira’s. He’s at a loss for words. His breath is coming slowly.

Finally, he smiles. “I really can’t promise I’m going to say anything to him-– but you’re right. I won’t deny that.”

Ann lifts his hand up to her mouth, pressing a kiss there. Her red lipstick leaves a stain. It matches her nails. Akira feels a warmth in his heart. It’s like a fire on a cold night. Soup when you’re sick. It’s comforting beyond belief.

The next time he sees Yusuke is at the station. Akira didn’t have much planned for that day. After school, his legs took him to the smoothie shop around where the artist enjoyed people-watching. He’d already had that flavor before. It’d been several days since Akira, Ryuji, and Ann talked. They’ve had conversations regarding the matter afterwards, but none as significant as the one in the attic. He peers into his wallet and then orders a smoothie for Yusuke.

As he walks over, he sees a woman talking with Yusuke.  For a minute, he feels a tight feeling in his chest. A sort of pain he can’t decipher. Akira feels a burning heat run through his body, from his toes, in his head, all the way to his hands. It’s not unlike when he casts fire spells. He’s almost afraid of the plastic container melting in his hands.

The world spins.

Akira tries to rationalize the feeling. Jealousy. That’s what this is. He’s jealous because some lady he doesn’t know, for a reason he doesn’t know, is talking to Yusuke. That isn’t a big deal. It’s not a big deal at all.

It was honestly so stupid, to think like this. But her hand is on his waist now, and Akira can’t muster up the courage to go over there anymore. He wants to lose himself completely to the irrationality running through his brain. The thought of dumping the smoothie on the woman is very tempting. He quells the urge by chucking the smoothie in the trash. It’s a fair bit of money wasted. Yusuke would be very disappointed if he knew. This was so stupid. It was so infuriating. Akira wants to cry. Why is he acting like this?

If this is what his love for Yusuke was like, this abhorrent feeling, Akira had no doubt that Yusuke would reject his feelings. It was disgusting, the way he was acting. It was childish. Yusuke didn’t belong to him. Yusuke was his own person. He knew that, but the jealousy raged in his chest like nothing else.

“You’re not going to go talk to him?” Morgana speaks softly.

Akira doesn’t respond, and they head back home. He doesn’t say anything until they’ve returned to LeBlanc. Morgana wiggles out of the bag. Akira heads up the stairs, footsteps silent. His books clatter against the floor. His school bag is thrown across the room. His jacket is slung to the ground, along with the rest of his clothes. Akira puts his pajamas on, then pulls the covers over his head.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

The bed creaks as Morgana climbs on it. He claws at the covers. “You’ll pass out from lack of oxygen like that.” There’s an annoyed groan. Akira’s face is now visible. “Your glasses, too. They’ll bend like that. What if they break? You’ll end up going to school blind.”

Morgana paws at his glasses. Akira scrunches his nose up, but gives in. He places the object on the windowsill. He sits up in bed, but doesn’t look at Morgana. The not-cat-cat moves to rest in Akira’s lap, kneading his claws into the latter’s thighs. He purrs.

Akira feels himself shaking, and gnaws on his thumbnail. He takes a deep breath. In, out, in, out, in, out… His eyes burn like someone squirted lemon juice in them, and he tries his hardest to not cry. Morgana nuzzles his hand. Akira lifts Morgana up close, and he doesn’t complain. He doesn’t say anything as Akira buries his face in his fur. He doesn’t even complain that Akira’s tears are getting him wet. Morgana stays cuddled close to Akira until he finally drifts off to sleep. He doesn’t move from the position they’re in, and finally drifts off himself.

 

* * *

 

He wakes up to a message. He squints at his phone, attempting to read the words - wow, he should really think about turning the brightness down - and stops. It’s from Yusuke. It’s from the day before.

 _If my eyes were not deceiving me, I believe I saw you yesterday? Though you left before we could spea_ k.

Akira gently rests his phone back down on the bed. Morgana looks up. Their eyes meet.

“Are… are you going to respond, Akira?” Morgana asks, timid.

Akira lays flat on the bed, curling his legs up. There’s light outside, but sleep is tempting. His bed is warm, and he was still somewhat groggy. He really could just go back to bed right now, sleep for the rest of the day, and pretend to have not seen Yusuke’s message. He could wait till tomorrow, and then apologize. That felt… wrong, somehow. Of course, Akira had always felt a flinch of guilt whenever he accidentally ignored someone’s message.  

_I was. Something came up, so I went back. Sorry._

Akira blankly stares down at his phone. It's not a lie, not at all. Something did come up, and that something just happened to be a feeling so ugly Akira wanted to bury it for good, never to be seen again.

_Ah, in that case, would you like to spend the day together? I may need a model for today’s piece, and I feel you are the perfect subject for it._

Morgana taps Akira’s hand. “Your knuckles are turning white, you know."

He relaxes his grip, then stares up at the ceiling. He hesitates before replying.

_Of course. I doubt I’ll be what you hope for though. I’m pretty bad at staying still. Come over whenever._

Since he figures Yusuke hasn’t eaten yet, Akira starts on the curry before he arrives. The door opens. Morgana lifts his head. “Pardon my intrusion. Afternoon, Akira… Ah, do I smell curry?” He sits down at the counter, resting several canvases, along with a bag (art supplies, Akira figures), on the ground next to his seat.

“Yup. I figured I’d try and get you to eat before you get lost in your artwork. Have you eaten today?”  Yusuke brings his finger up to his chin, deep in thought. Akira sighs. That’s enough of an answer. It’s good he decided to make the rice before Yusuke arrived.

“Do you want me to start texting you reminders to eat? Would that help?” He sets the two bowls on the counter, one for himself, one for Yusuke.

“Regardless of the reason, I am happy to receive a text from you, Akira.”

Akira chokes on a spoonful of curry.

“Are you alright? Did you burn your tongue?” Yusuke’s hand rests lightly over Akira’s back. He coughs until his throat feels clear-- but what remains in his throat is just a feeling. A fleeting tingle runs through his body.

“I’m-- I’m fine. I’m okay, don’t worry about it.” He is most definitely not okay. His feelings for Yusuke are left bubbling in his throat, like the pot of curry from moments earlier. He takes a sip of water. When he turns to face Yusuke, he sees the artist still staring at him. He has a concerned look on his face. Akira feels like his cheeks are burning. He’s burning.

This is going great. Not like… He was planning on anything going good, or anything. They’re just hanging out. They’re just eating curry together.

Fuck. Shit.

“Hey, Yusuke… I was wondering. Yesterday, I saw this woman with you. I hadn’t seen her before, so I was, uh, wondering who that was. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I’m just curious.”

 _Wow._ So smooth. So suave. The great leader of the phantom thieves, bested by his overwhelming affections for another teammate. 

“Ah, that woman? She had seen me from afar. She said she was from a modeling agency, and had offered me a card. I believe she had taken great interest in my figure. I told her I appreciated her aesthetics - fashion is indeed an art form as well - however, I felt the need to decline. There are more important things happening in my life as of late, as well as things I feel I should be paying far more attention to.”

With those words, the tension that had been steadily rising in Akira flew away. He felt so… relieved. Then, a brief sense of self hatred. It was so ridiculously out of character for him to get jealous. He spooned curry into his mouth. “Oh… I see. I meant what I said, though. It wouldn’t be a bother or anything.”

“I could not guarantee that I would have food readily available for myself, however. Though, perhaps it would help… Thank you, Akira. You’re very good to me.” Akira notes Yusuke’s nearly empty bowl. Yusuke brushes a stray strand of hair out of his face, and smiles. “That aside, you seem very flushed. Are you sure you’re well?”

“Probably from the curry. The stove is pretty hot… Speaking of, do you want another bowl before we start? I got some snacks earlier, too.”

(Getting snacks to get him to eat is sometimes futile. “I’m in the zone! I cannot stop now!” - and the like. He grabbed Yusuke's favorite, along with some for himself... but it’s the thought that counts.)

“That would be much appreciated!” There’s a sparkle in Yusuke’s eyes as he says this, and Akira feels his heart flutter.

Once they finish their meal, Yusuke heads upstairs, Akira lingering behind to wash the dishes. He can faintly hear the sound of Yusuke setting up. He heads upstairs, anxiety and anticipation prominent in his heart. Yusuke has an easel and a chair across from the couch. Akira takes that as a his spot, and takes a seat. Yusuke gives a nod of approval, and begins to pull out his pencils. Akira notes the large sketch book, instead of a canvas. The bag by Yusuke’s feet still looks heavy, so he can only assume there are paints in there, to go with the canvases leaning against the wall of Akira’s room.

“I don’t wanna be a distraction.” Both Yusuke and Akira turn at Morgana’s words. He has his foot raised, and licks his paw casually. “I’m going to go find Lady Ann. Don’t stay up late this time!” With that, he scampers out. The two remaining in the room meet eyes. Akira smiles.

“I guess we don’t have to worry about Morgana complaining he’s bored now.” Yusuke nods, holding his pencil loosely in his hand. “What kind of pose should I do? Or an expression?”

“Hmm…” And then, Yusuke moves closer. His hand rests on Akira’s cheek, fingers running through his hair. Akira’s breath catches in his chest, and he can’t force out words. He wants to ask Yusuke what he’s doing, but his chest and mind feel full, full to the brim with all those stray thoughts of Yusuke.

So full that with him here and now, with them so close together - he can’t speak. He’s afraid that if he does speak, all his feelings will overflow, present for the world to see. He looks down, unable to maintain eye contact.

Yusuke adjusts his bangs to a different position, fixes and ruffles his hair. When Akira finally has the courage to look back up at him, he sees a satisfied smile. “There, hold that. That expression.”

Yusuke returns back to his seat, and begins sketching away. The pencil moves quickly, yet delicately across the paper. Once again, Akira is entranced with the sight before his eyes. Yusuke looks sharp, focused. He looks outright _ethereal_  like this. The sun casts a shadow on his face. In moments like these, Akira wished he could paint like Yusuke could-- he wished more than anything else to be able to capture the beauty that he saw in Yusuke.

The hours pass quickly.

Akira feels the pain in his own shoulders, and sees the stiffness in Yusuke’s. Man, his shoulders hurt. Maybe his facial expression looked silly. Akira wasn’t even sure what kind of face he was making - but for Yusuke to be drawing it with such fervor had to mean something. His pencil’s movement has slowed. He looks up, but he doesn’t look happy. Akira’s about to open his mouth, but in that split second remembers all the times he had done that before.

It’s almost amusing to remember how Yusuke reacted, especially when he was so deep in thought, telling him with over exaggerated hand motions how important it was to keep the same expression, that even the slightest upturn of the lips could make a world of difference.  

He was able to talk for hours.

It made him think of the times Yusuke had him pose in… less than usual places. Though, Akira figured that Yusuke wasn’t usual. Then again, none of them were-- which suited him just fine. It suited him perfectly, actually. The eccentricity that others saw in the artist was always enthralling to Akira. He always longed to know more. It was a selfish thought.

“You are free to move, Akira. However, I do not believe I’m satisfied quite yet.”

“Ah, alright.” Akira stands up and stretches. “Are you okay if I look?” Yusuke blinks, obviously caught off guard.

“If you'd like…” Akira moves to stand behind Yusuke, peering at the canvas. It's him, that's for sure. His hair is strewn about in multiple directions, and his expression has such depth, Akira can hardly believe it was based off of him. In the sketch, Akira’s glasses have slid down to the bridge of his nose. Subconsciously, he pushed them up, then turns to Yusuke. He looks almost… bashful. His cheeks are dusted a light pink. Akira feels himself smile despite the embarrassment.

“What are you going for, for this piece? Like, does it have… a meaning?” He asks this before he can fully process his own question. Yusuke’s brows furrow.

“In all honestly, not even I, myself know my reasonings for my desire to sketch you. Perhaps, your beauty has evaded my canvas for far too long.”

Akira doesn't understand why people say 'if looks could kill' -- when right now, these words have caused a fatality. If words could make flowers to bloom, there would be a bouquet forming in Akira’s chest from Yusuke’s words.

One of the many good things about Yusuke was his blunt honesty.

If he felt something, he wouldn’t hesitate to share how he felt, and for better or for worse, would never mince words. Time passes far too quickly after this. Regardless of the consequence, in that moment, with his uncertainty barely existent, Akira wished for time to still. He wished to be able to have the world in freeze frame, so he could examine each and every detail.

He briefly thinks about activating his third eye, curious about what he could find here that he wasn’t already aware of. He wonders if this feeling could be painted. He wonders, that if it could be visible - what Yusuke would think. Would he stand back, and marvel in it’s beauty, or would he crinkle his nose and walk away. The pain that had tormented only a day earlier had faded into nothingness - all he can feel now is warmth.

All he can feel now is a sense of belonging.

It’s wonderful.

Yusuke leaves too soon. Even with his fear, each moment spent with Yusuke is a moment he treasures, and holds close to his heart. Even though the room is empty - (Morgana isn’t home yet, Akira guesses that his companion would be back shortly after he’s fallen asleep.) - it still feels like Yusuke is there.

The room had soaked up his presence. Though it felt weird to admit, it smelled like Yusuke. Which was a strange thing in and of itself, but it was far from unpleasant. It made his heart leap. Akira felt like he was jumping on a trampoline, like he was looking down at the ground from far, far above.

He felt like he was falling, but he didn’t know when he started falling in the first place. He doesn’t know where he’s going to land. He doesn’t even know if there is a place he could _land_.

There’s an adrenaline rush, not at all comparable to stealing treasure, or heists - but a rush all the same.

He lets the feeling overtake him, take over his body. He loses himself to the feelings in his heart. Each wall, that he’d painstakingly locked and bolted, felt like it had collapsed. But there didn’t seem to be any damage, at least for now. He savored the feeling. It was unlike anything else. Akira didn’t have any trouble identifying the feeling. It was as clear as day.

I’m in love.” He says, to no one. The words bounce off the walls. They stick to the walls and reflect like mirrors. They see past all of his masks, they see past his disguise. He can run, he can try to ignore them, but the feelings will remain. They glow brightly in his chest. They overpower everything. It’s a wrecking ball-- taking anything and everything with it. It's mass destruction without an inch of hesitation.

He takes his glasses off, setting them down gently.

And then, Akira laughs. He laughs high and clear. He laughs until he's wheezing. He laughs until he can hardly breathe. He laughs until he's breathless. He laughs until he's curled up on his side, sobbing into his pillow.

"I'm in love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is! A thousand thanks to my lovely beta! Gosh, after that big realization, it would totally suck if Yusuke didn't feel the same way. As always, my twitter is @chronojetdragon, and thank you very much for reading, and I hope you have a wonderful day!


	3. resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There's something about you, Yusuke. I have this uncontrollable urge to know everything about you."

Joker’s worry materialized in the Metaverse. There were many things on the forefront of his mind that took first priority, especially during heists. He watches Fox from the corner of his eye-- his slick movements, one second slicing down a stray shadow, the next moment slipping his weapon back in its sheath.

He watches with careful eyes, narrowing his eyebrows. Skull dubbed the look “the leader’s glare.”

It was a confusing suggestion, but when the rest of the thieves agreed with the sentiment, Joker figured he should start being more aware of his own expressions. His team was perceptive enough to read his flat expressions, the miniscule shifts of the corner of his lips, or when he would squint ever so slightly. That posed a problem, a new thought to keep Akira up at night.

Did Yusuke notice him staring?

Akira was keen, and when he saw Yusuke hunching over slightly, he offered to feed the artist, pack him leftovers, and send him back home. Yusuke looked really pale. Even though his anxieties wouldn’t fade completely, keeping Yusuke warm and fed would most certainly serve to ebb them away, even if it was just for the night.

Having him around was just an added bonus.

On their way back to LeBlanc, Akira’s phone buzzed. It was Sojiro, with his characteristically short and to-the-point texts.

_Here's an attached list of groceries to pick up. Thanks._

He tilts the screen so it's visible to the leaner boy next to him. Yusuke nods approvingly. “Very well. Shall we head off, then? To the grocery store.”

Akira nods.

Yusuke holds the basket, despite Akira’s protests.

“This is quite a detailed list.”

“Mhm. Sojiro’s really specific in what he wants, too. If I end up grabbing the wrong thing, he sends me back out.” Akira squints at the list, but notices Yusuke’s nod of approval. “Ah-- here. He's letting me grab other things so I can cook when he's not here. What do you want for dinner?”

The artist purses his lips in thought, shutting his eyes. “I would like salmon.”

“Salmon? That's not very specific, but okay. I'll just do something simple. We're running low on spices, and some side ingredients, so I'm going to grab those too.”

“Indeed. I quite look forward to our meal. Your cooking is always delicious.”

Akira gently smiles, staring down at the list of ingredients on his phone. “This feels really domestic. It's kind of like we're married.”

Yusuke splutters, and nearly drops the basket. His cheeks flush bright red, and he pointedly looks away from Akira’s eyes.

“Haha, what's with that reaction? Is the thought of marrying me that unpleasant?” He hopes his laughter can conceal his anxieties, that it might calm the furious flames in his chest. Settle down, his brain whispers. “It's just a joke. Don't worry about it.”

Akira watches Yusuke. The red in his cheeks hasn't faded. “Indeed… s-shall we continue, then?”

“Let's.”

It might have been just Akira’s imagination, or maybe even wishful thinking, but he thought, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Yusuke with a small smile on his face.

 

* * *

 

“Pardon the intrusion.”

The pair set the bags down on the counter, and they both glance around at LeBlanc. It's empty.

“Sojiro-san? Are you here?” Yusuke taps Akira on the shoulder, and he turns. There’s a note in Yusuke’s hand.

Akira clears his throat, and reads out loud. “‘ _Something came up. Closed shop early. Leave groceries in the fridge. Thanks. Sojiro._ ’ Guess it’s just gonna be us.”

“Is everything alright?” There’s a look of slight concern on Yusuke’s face, and his brows are furrowed. Akira has to fight the urge to smooth the furrow out with his fingers, to kiss away the concern. He bites the feeling back, and turns away.

“Yeah. This happens sometimes, but I can never get him to talk to me about it… though I’m not surprised. I didn’t really expect him to, you know?”

He didn’t expect Sojiro to share _anything_ with some brat he picked off the street. Some kid with a couple of boxes and a load of baggage. He wouldn’t say that out loud to anyone, though, especially Yusuke.

“Though, we get the space to ourselves now.”

The artist nods his head. There’s a moment of silence, followed by loud rumbling.

“I’ll get started on dinner.”

“...That would be much appreciated. You have my thanks.”

Once they’ve finished eating, the two start talking.

The thing with talking with Yusuke was that Akira found himself going on and on, never having a second to think before he actually spoke. Maybe it was because being with Yusuke felt so natural, that words just slipped out. They could talk for hours and hours, but it seriously felt like no time would pass at all. Even when they talked for hours, it still didn’t seem like enough.

“Ah, sorry if I’ve been going on for too long.” Akira rubs his neck, flustered.

“Don’t worry about it.” Yusuke smiles, putting a hand over his heart. “You needn't apologize for such a thing. Your voice is soothing, so feel free to continue.”

Akira’s heart dances wildly, happily in his chest.

Ryuji’s words echo in Akira’s head.

Yes, a phantom thief really never could be satisfied. They were greedy, greedy for whatever they could take-- if it was possessions, hearts, even time itself-- this was the type of greed that Akira wasn’t sure could ever be sated.

When he stops talking for a moment to form a coherent sentence, he suddenly wonders if Yusuke is bored of his ramblings. He looks over at his face, but he seems peaceful. He seems… warm, soft and tender. Akira’s face burns as he fully processes Yusuke’s words from earlier.

How Yusuke felt Akira’s voice was soothing-- Akira felt the same way about Yusuke’s voice, it was like a song he wished forever to be kept on repeat. He could listen to it and somehow, never get tired.

The love Yusuke had was visible. It was present in his every move. Akira could see it in his eyes.

The thoughts that rush into his head are so overwhelming. Akira almost felt like he couldn’t breathe. The urge to press his lips to Yusuke’s was consuming him whole. He wanted to, so badly that he _ached._  He wanted to run his fingers through Yusuke’s hair and see that gentle smile directed at him.

Yusuke is staring right into Akira’s eyes, an intense expression on his face. Akira can recognize it as the same eyes as when the artist would be working.

It feels like time had stopped. It felt like there was nothing else in the whole wide world but the two of them. Akira gently inhales. He wants to shut his eyes, soak up Yusuke’s presence. He wanted to feel it so deeply that even when Yusuke went home back to his dorm, Akira would still be able to feel him there.

He’s so preoccupied with these thoughts, that he doesn’t fully process when Yusuke suddenly moves closer, gripping Akira’s hand.

Yusuke’s gaze is focused downwards, and then suddenly it’s back up, staring too deeply. It felt like he could see inside of Akira’s heart, or maybe deeper. Maybe past his mask, past his walls. Straight into his soul. Akira felt vulnerable.

The artist leans in, and kisses Akira on the lips.

It was so gentle, like the caress of a feather. Akira’s heart is beating so, so quickly. He can sense the vague feeling of sweat on his palms, but he doesn’t know if it’s him or Yusuke.

His hands are definitely shaking.

Akira lifts his chin to look at Yusuke, and his breath catches in his chest.

Yusuke’s face is red. It’s so red, it’s so bright red.

Akira’s heart beats faster and faster. Actually, they probably had the same blush. Right now, Akira could feel the expression on his face, and knew, since he was looking at Yusuke so closely-- they were making the same face. Yusuke’s lips were parted ever so slightly. They still were holding hands.

Once more, Akira thinks. He wants to kiss Yusuke again, and again. He wanted to kiss him ten times, twenty times. He wanted to lose count and start all over again. He wanted to pepper Yusuke in kisses and hold him tightly.

But--

Yusuke lets go, and stands. A bead of sweat drips down his face. Akira wants to reach out and grab him, but his hand falls short.

The artist lifts up his bag and runs out.

Akira’s hand feels empty. Akira’s heart feels empty. He groans, and thumps his head on the counter.

“Shit.”

 

* * *

 

He hadn’t moved in quite a while. However long Yusuke stayed, it was enough for the feeling of him next to Akira to stay, even if Yusuke wasn’t there.

Honestly, he should get up and start doing the dishes, but he didn't want to. Right now, Akira wanted to lay on the ground. He just wanted to lay there on his side and shut his eyes.

Sounds in the distance fade out, the chatter from the shopping district. Thank god there weren’t any customers. Akira briefly thinks about moving to do something other than just sit, but doesn’t bother.

There’s a familiar sound, and he lifts his head so quickly he nearly gets whiplash. His phone, that he’d left on the counter has lit up. Anxiously, he walks over to it. He wasn’t sure who was messaging him, but he knew. Similar to his third eye, but like a sixth sense. Somehow, he knew.

_I like you._

That’s all the preview for what Yusuke’s message reads, but Akira types in his password as quickly as he can to see the rest.

_No, that isn’t enough. I’m sorry, Akira. I’ve fallen in love with you. I didn’t mean to, but…_

_I sincerely apologize for my actions just now. I didn’t mean to cross your boundaries in such a way. I should have asked first._

_My sincerest apologies, Akira. If you’d prefer to end our friendship here, I won’t disrespect your wishes. However, I’d like to make my feelings known._

_Kurusu Akira, I am in love with you. I, myself, am unaware as to when this feeling started. The casual concern I felt for you seemed to grow with each passing day. I found myself looking for you, even if you weren't there. Perhaps I became too used to having you by my side._

_At some point, I realized what these feelings were. I didn’t know how to act, nor did I know if I should change how I acted around you. Ugliness came out of my heart before I could stop it. I found myself being jealous of those around you, and I wanted to have a sort of monopoly over you._

_However, you are your own person. I don’t wish to make you feel uncomfortable, and I am trying my best to be aware of my lack of understanding when it comes to noticing other’s feelings._

_Once more, I apologize._

_Kitagawa Yusuke._

Akira can feel tears well up in his eyes. He opens Yusuke’s contact, and, hands shaking, presses the call button.

Dial tone. A click. Silence.

“I remember the first moment I saw you,” Akira begins. He takes a deep breath. “Well, ah, not so much the moment as the feeling in the moment. I don't know what it was about you. I know you've seen-- and  _will_ see a lot of beautiful things as time passes-- but you're the most beautiful person I've ever set my eyes on. As far as I'm concerned, you're the most beautiful person in the whole world.”

He pauses to catch his breath. It doesn't quite work, but he keeps talking.

“There's something about you, Yusuke. I have this uncontrollable urge to know everything about you. To see each expression. To hear the way you speak in every situation.”

Akira bites his lip. “That jealousy you feel? I feel it too. I’ve never felt something like that before, and I… I didn’t know how I was supposed to react. How I felt made me feel sick with myself. I--It feels like forever that I’ve known, but I also realized it only recently. I'm in love with you. I love you, too. I love you so much.”

Yusuke doesn't say anything. Akira looks at his phone. The call hasn't dropped. “Yusuke…?”

“M-my apologies, I… I have been overtaken by my emotions.”

Was Yusuke crying? That was cute, somehow. Maybe that was weird. Scratch that. It was totally weird. But even so, the rush of affection he feels is incomparable to anything else.

Akira can feel himself smiling.

“W-well then…” Yusuke says, sounding embarrassed. “Ah, well…”

Akira looks down at his phone with a grin that he’s sure looks stupid. It’s not the same smile he wears as Joker. It’s much kinder than that. “Yusuke, would you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?”

There’s a gentle inhale from the other end. “It would be my pleasure, Akira.” Yusuke’s smile is audible as he speaks.

The two of them keep talking for longer. They keep talking until Yusuke gently says he has to go, and Akira can hear the sounds of life from the other line. It was probably some sort of dorm rule.

Putting his glasses down gently, Akira flops face first into his bed.

He lets himself doze off for a while, but he doesn’t know how long exactly. It was an hour, at least. Akira sighs, lifting his head up, resting his chin on his pillow.

He wanted to see Yusuke. Akira wanted to hold his hand and he wanted to kiss Yusuke’s cheek. Or maybe his lips, too.

They had just seen each other in person today. They were talking earlier, yet the urge was still there. The ache that made him want to get up and run all the way to Yusuke. It didn’t matter if it was late, he would find a way there. Akira could close his eyes and just follow his instinct - there wasn’t a doubt in his heart that if he did that, when Akira opened his eyes, Yusuke would be there, standing in front of him. He deeply inhales, feeling his stomach rise and fall with each breath.

“I want to see you, Yusuke.”

But all he did was stare at the ceiling. That’s all he could do. He closes his eyes, darkness taking over. He sits in silence…

...Or not. There’s a clatter of something against his window.

Was it raining, or something? It didn’t seem that unlikely, but  _still._

He sits up to pull open the curtains. It’s dark outside, but there is no rain. Then, something collides with the window. A small pebble.

_What the hell?_

Akira creaks the window open, sticking his head out, heart pounding wildly in his chest.

Ever since he was young, Akira would always try to conceal his tears, if and when they happened. He would hide his face, whether it be under bed covers or with his own hands. But, when he saw Yusuke there, he let the tears flow down his cheeks. There was no reason to hide-- he knew Yusuke’s love for him was for _everything_ , it wasn’t just for his smile.

It was for his tears, his rage, his happiness and sadness. It was for anything and everything.

His boyfriend smiled brightly. In the moonlight, Yusuke shined brightly. Brighter than any of the stars that hung in the sky.

Akira had longed to see Yusuke more than anything else.

And there he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sincerest apologizes for the wait! However, with this, 'fleeting' is officially marked complete! Thank you to all of those who read this fic. Writing it, silly enough, changed my life to a direction I can't imagine not being on now. It brought me together with someone I couldn't imagine my life without.  
> So, dear readers, thank you once again, and I hope you've enjoyed my work! If you enjoyed, feel free to come talk to me on twitter @chronojetdragon! If you liked this, feel free to leave a kudo or a comment-- I'd love to talk to you! If you'd like to support me, I currently have commissions open, and I would be happy to write something catered to you specifically.
> 
> With that, goodbye!


End file.
